


blue like a lover

by topazios



Category: Monsta X (Band), No.MERCY (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, of sorts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-14 02:01:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5725564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topazios/pseuds/topazios
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kihyun is just looking for the boy who makes him feel like honey and wine all in one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	blue like a lover

Rather than bursting into his life like a comet or a shooting star, or anything romantic, for the matter, Hoseok wanders into Kihyun’s life half-asleep, at seven in the morning on a Thursday at the beginning of the hottest season of the year. 

“Can I have an iced coffee to go?” Hoseok asks, rubbing his eyes and yawning. “My name’s Hoseok. If you need it for the cup.” 

“What?” Kihyun asks. 

“Coffee. Please?” Hoseok asks again. 

Kihyun pauses, his hand over the register. “This is a bakery.” 

“No it’s not,” Hoseok says. “This is Sahara Cafe.” 

“No,” Kihyun says. “This is Retro Oven. Sahara Cafe’s next door. And we’re not open right now.” 

“What?” Hoseok says. “But it’s noon?” 

Kihyun checks his watch. “It’s 7:13 a.m.” 

Hoseok seems to wake up at that. “But my watch and my laptop all said— Oh my _god_ I’m going to kill Minhyuk.” 

“Not that I want to have this Minhyuk’s blood on my hands, but why are you going to kill him?” Kihyun asks, conversationally. Hoseok is kinda cute. 

Hoseok groans, leaning against the glass window of the display. Kihyun winces, but he’ll just get Hyungwon to wipe it down again. “Minhyuk’s one of my roommates and he thinks it’s funny when he changes the time on all of my stuff. I almost missed a vocal lesson once because of him.” 

“Vocal lesson?” Kihyun asks. Hoseok brightens, and starts talking, his hands animated and his eyes almost _sparkling_. 

Hoseok is a trainee at the company down the street, Star-something, Kihyun can’t remember. He came to Seoul almost five years ago because he loved the bright lights and the glamour of the city. He used to be a backup dancer, but quit because he wanted to make music of his own. He’s studying composition and wants to produce music, but he also loves to sing. 

“Do you like music?” Hoseok asks, after he’s talked for almost fifteen minutes straight. Kihyun takes pity and pours some water in a cup to give to him. 

“I used to sing,” Kihyun says. “But like, church choir stuff. I don’t really anymore.” 

Hoseok props his chin up with his hand. “What about instruments?” 

Kihyun thinks about the guitar he still has upstairs, in his apartment. “I don’t really play anymore.” 

“Play what?” 

“Guitar,” Kihyun says grudgingly, but Hoseok looks so happy that it’s almost worth it. 

“If I bring my keyboard here, will you play with me?” Hoseok asks. 

“We meet and you tell me your life story and ask me to play guitar with you?” Kihyun asks, but Hoseok doesn’t even look abashed. 

“I trust you,” Hoseok says. “I mean, you gave me water and I haven’t died yet, so it must not be poisoned.” 

“Okay,” Kihyun says, opening the display from his side of the counter and pulling out a leftover cupcake from the day before. “Then do you want one?” 

“For free?” 

Kihyun tries not to laugh. “I usually have my employees take leftovers home, but my new cashier is a part-time model and refuses to eat anything from here. At least that’s what he says to my face.” 

“Wow,” Hoseok says, slightly muffled from taking a bite of the cupcake. “That must be torture. Being a model and working in a bakery. I couldn’t do it.” 

“Yeah, well,” Kihyun says. “Hyungwon isn’t most people.” 

Hoseok’s eyes crinkle. He practically _radiates_ happiness, Kihyun thinks. Makes the shop a little brighter. Or maybe Hyungwon had changed all the bulbs like Kihyun had asked him to. 

“I’ll come back here a lot,” Hoseok promises, as he’s leaving. “And not just because you gave me free stuff!” 

Kihyun shoos him away, but he’s smiling as Hoseok looks both ways before running across the street. He almost misses Hyungwon coming in. 

“So,” Hyungwon says, leaning against the door. “Have a little crush on the pretty boy, do ya?” 

“Shut up,” Kihyun says, “and wipe the display down again. Pretty boy leaned against it.” 

“Do you want to lick it first?” 

“One of these days I’m going to fire you,” Kihyun says mildly, but for the rest of the day, Hyungwon’s complaints just bounce off of him. 

 

#

 

Hoseok comes back almost every day, sometimes with his friends in a tow. They all look at everything in the display with the saddest eyes an hour after closing time, and Kihyun eventually lets Hyungwon pass out leftover cookies. 

“I love you more than I love my mom,” Hoseok says reverently, as Hyungwon gives him a chocolate chip. 

“Please don’t tell Kihyun things like that,” Hyungwon says flatly. “His ego is already through the roof.” 

“Is it your face on that new Innisfree poster at the bus stop a block down from here?” Minhyuk asks, and Hyungwon puffs up with pride. Kihyun is reminded of a peacock. 

“Don’t tell Hyungwon things like _that_ ,” Kihyun says. “He’s going to think he’s famous enough to leave me. And then I’m going to have to hire someone else.” 

“It’s okay,” Hoseok says. “I’ll give you so much business that people will be fighting to work for you.” 

“You’ve eaten almost everything for free,” Kihyun tells him. 

“Fine,” Hoseok says. “Starting tomorrow, I’ll pay.” And he does. After a week straight of Hoseok waving as he leaves the shop, a little bag of whole wheat, low fat, sugar free, high protein cookies in his hand, Kihyun looks down at the cake he’s decorating, and realizes he’s doodled Hoseok’s name all over it when he hadn’t been paying attention. 

“Oh,” Kihyun says, to himself. “Oh, _shit_.” 

 

#

 

The first time they kiss, it’s the morning Hoseok whines until Kihyun lets him go in the kitchen, where, to quote Hoseok, “the magic happens”. 

“You eat those protein discs thinks that you call cookies,” Kihyun says distastefully, as he tosses Hoseok the extra apron to put on. 

“Yeah, but they taste good,” Hoseok says. 

“Well, I’m just good,” Kihyun says, as he pulls out a fresh tray of cupcakes from the oven. “Can’t beat talent.” 

Fifteen minutes later, Kihyun is showing Hoseok how to make icing from scratch, and Hoseok’s brow is furrowed as he’s adding food coloring to the piping bag so the icing will be patterned. 

“You don’t have to look so serious,” Kihyun says. 

“I’m a serious person,” Hoseok says, without a bite in his voice. His hand shakes when he’s icing the first cupcake, and it comes out lopsided. 

“It’s okay,” Kihyun says. “Look, it has character.” 

Hoseok laughs. “I knew it was a good idea to be your friend.” 

“There are so many reasons to be my friend,” Kihyun says, cutting the cupcake in half and offering it to Hoseok. “How could you just pick one?” 

“It’s hard, but I’m good at making hard choices,” Hoseok says, licking the icing off his cupcake half before eating it. 

Hoseok ends up helping Kihyun bake the entire morning, flour in his hair and all over his hands and arms. 

“If I never make it in the music world, can I come here and work with you?” Hoseok asks, as Kihyun pipettes flowers onto a cake. 

“Why wouldn’t you make it in the music world?” 

Hoseok shrugs. “I’m just worried, you know. Not everyone makes it.”

Kihyun pauses before pipetting the last flower. “You will.” 

“How do you know?” 

“Because if you don’t, I’m never going to give you free food again,” Kihyun says firmly, and when Hoseok tries to wrestle the pipette bag from his hand, he squirts icing into his mouth. 

“What the—” Hoseok coughs, but swallows all the icing. “Why did you do that?” 

“That’s the last free food you’re getting,” Kihyun says. 

“ _Icing_?” Hoseok asks, wiping his corner of his mouth and succeeding only in getting flour on his cheek. “That’s not even real food.” 

Kihyun ignores him. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” He wets a paper towel to wipe Hoseok’s face clean, but before he can, Hoseok presses him against the sink, the cold steel pressing into the small of his back, and kisses him. 

Hoseok tastes like vanilla icing and chocolate cake and an underlying sweetness that Kihyun could never bake. He kisses like he’s scared Kihyun will disappear, his fingers digging into Kihyun’s arms. By the third time their mouths touch, Kihyun’s dizzy, and not just from the sugar. 

“You got flour all over my shirt,” Kihyun says, when they break apart long enough for him to start breathing normally again. 

“You can have mine,” Hoseok says, even though his shirt’s covered in flour too. Kihyun would say something, but Hoseok’s kissing him again, and it’s the kind of kiss high school sweethearts share, closed-mouthed and sweet and Hoseok’s mouth is so soft Kihyun swears he’s melting. 

“Oh my god,” Hyungwon says from the doorway. Kihyun breaks away from Hoseok and has the decency to look guilty. “Oh, my god. I’m going home.” 

“Can you just clean the tables before you go?” Kihyun calls after him, to which Hyungwon slams the front door shut. The bell tinkles innocently behind him. 

“It’s my day off,” Hoseok says. “I can help you. For feeding me so much.” 

“Are you sure?” Kihyun asks. 

“I’m going to need a little something for motivation though,” Hoseok says, leaning in so their lips are almost touching. 

“Oh yeah?” Kihyun says, trying to keep his voice steady, but Hoseok is doing weird things to his heart. Like it’s swelled up to be six times bigger than it normally is. 

“Yeah,” Hoseok says, against Kihyun’s mouth. Kihyun can feel his pulse in the tips of his fingers; it makes his knees weak, but Hoseok is solid and real and he keeps Kihyun grounded. “This.” 

 

#

 

Kihyun tries not to be disappointed on days Hoseok doesn’t come; he knows Hoseok is busy and he’s under strict surveillance for most of the day. They talk on the phone almost every day, but it just gets kind of… lonely. 

But not so lonely that Hyungwon seems like good company all the time, Kihyun thinks to himself, as Hyungwon chatters on about his new manager and how lenient he is. Kihyun wordlessly flips through the menu, barely glancing at the dishes. He’s picked up some food critic jobs on the side, just so he can do something with his degree from culinary school. 

“Are you going to shut this restaurant down?” Hyungwon asks, as he’s polishing off his steak. For someone who refuses to eat sugary food, he eats a lot of other kinds of food. 

“Nah,” Kihyun says, nibbling on a little piece of salmon. “This meal is free, after all.” 

“This job has so many _perks_ ,” Hyungwon says happily, reaching over and snagging Kihyun’s dinner roll. Kihyun gives him a look, but lets him have it. 

 

#

 

Whenever Hoseok comes to visit, Hyungwon throws down whatever he’s holding, even if it’s nothing, and stalks away. But Kihyun knows he’s throwing a fit just for the hell of it. 

“When’s Hyungwon going to stop pretending to hate me?” Hoseok asks, leaning over the counter to kiss Kihyun. 

“Hmm,” Kihyun says, in response. Hoseok’s mouth is so impossibly soft and overwhelming. Kihyun’s never going to get tired of kissing him. “He’s kind of a drama queen.” 

“That’s okay,” Hoseok says, plucking the rag out of Kihyun’s hands. He finishes wiping down the front of the display. “I am too.” 

“Really,” Kihyun says, adjusting his apron. “I didn’t notice.” 

“Well, not _yet_ you haven’t,” Hoseok says. He’s wearing a thick cardigan, Kihyun notices. It looks nice. And makes it really hard for him to think. 

“Are you cold?” Hoseok asks. Kihyun realizes he’s shivering. 

“No,” Kihyun says, but Hoseok presses him against the wall next to the door to the kitchen and kisses him anyway, his arms caging Kihyun in. “You really have to stop doing that.” 

Hoseok nips Kihyun’s bottom lip. “Doing what?” 

Kihyun laughs as Hoseok leans in and bites Kihyun’s ear. “ _Stop_.” 

“Okay,” Hoseok says, but he follows Kihyun into the kitchen and watches as he ices the cake that’s been cooling for the past half hour. “What happens if you ice it right when it comes out of the oven?” 

“The icing melts,” Kihyun says. “It’s a mess.” 

“You’re a mess.” 

“I love it when you talk dirty to me.” 

“You’re _my_ mess,” Hoseok says, and Kihyun contemplates icing his hair. It probably wouldn’t go so well. 

“How’s everything going in the music world?” Kihyun asks. 

“I don’t know,” Hoseok says. “They barely let me out of the practice rooms.” 

“A shame, really,” Kihyun says, as Hoseok comes to hug him from the back. He can feel Hoseok’s heart beating against his shoulder. 

“Will you be my boyfriend?” Hoseok asks, tentatively, like he’s unsure. 

“What kind of question is that?” Kihyun asks back.

“So that’s a yes then?” Hoseok smiles into Kihyun’s hair. It’s unnervingly cute. 

“Leave before I get sick of you hanging around here so much,” Kihyun says, but he catches Hoseok’s arm as he’s leaving and kisses him one last time. “For the road,” he says. 

“We _just_ started dating and you’re already saying things like that?” Hoseok asks, but it’s hard to take him seriously when they’re necking like this. 

“I miss you when you’re not here,” Kihyun says, into Hoseok’s jawline. 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” Kihyun pecks him on the lips again. “Now go. I have to get to work.” 

“Okay,” Hoseok says, the corners of his mouth quirking up. Kihyun knows he heard. “Okay.” When he leaves, though, he takes a little piece of Kihyun with him. 

 

#

 

Hoseok whines and begs until Kihyun starts adding lemon flavored things to the menu. He’s making lemon berry meringues, when Hyungwon comes in the kitchen and pops a finished one in his mouth. 

“Damn, how much butter do you use?” he asks, between the chews. 

“Enough to make a person fall in love,” Kihyun says, winking at him. Hyungwon pushes his face away. “What do you want?” 

“I can’t come in the kitchen to talk to my lovely boss whenever I want?” Hyungwon asks, putting a hand over his heart. It’s utterly useless against Kihyun. 

“Start talking before I kick you out.” 

“Fine,” Hyungwon huffs. “Hoseok called your phone a couple times. If you want to call him back.” He puts the phone next to the pastry mat and snags another meringue before leaving. 

“Hello?” Kihyun says, when Hoseok picks up. “Did you call?” 

“Yeah, like one million times,” Hoseok says, but Kihyun knows he’s not mad. “Are you almost done baking?” 

“Almost,” Kihyun says. “I made lemon meringues.” 

Hoseok groans. “You said you wouldn’t make lemon stuff without me!” 

“Business is business,” Kihyun says, but he’s teasing. 

“I’m almost done with this song,” Hoseok says. “Do you want to hear it?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Kihyun says. He puts the phone on speaker so he can roll out more dough while he’s listening. It’s nice, with the right amount of base that it feels grounded, but not so much that it feels heavy. Hoseok starts singing, his voice blending with the chords and it’s really… something else. 

“I like it,” Kihyun says. “A lot.” 

“Are you sure?” Hoseok asks, a little whiny. “Are you _sure_?” 

“Stop before I take it back,” Kihyun says, laughing. “It’s just hard to put into words, you know?” 

“I know,” Hoseok says. “I have that kind of effect on people.” 

“Someone needs to beat down your ego to half the size it is now,” Kihyun says, filling pastries with cream. “It’s taking up most of the free space in the world.” 

“Says you,” Hoseok says. “Promise me that you’ll make me lemon stuff.” 

“Okay,” Kihyun says. “Promise.” 

“I’ll remember that, you know,” Hoseok warns. “I have a really good memory.” 

“Me too,” Kihyun says, and hanging up the phone leaves him with a deafening silence. For all of three seconds before Hyungwon barges in and tells him that he’s unlocking the doors in five minutes.

“How’s the boy?” Hyungwon asks, as Kihyun puts the last batch of cookies in the oven. 

“Fine,” Kihyun says. “Nothing much is different.” 

“Yeah, but your face is like one of the artsy poems about blushes.” 

“It is _not_.” 

Hyungwon fixes his own apron and adjusts it so it doesn’t sag too much in the front. “You look like me when I went to the beach and forgot sunscreen and laid in the sun for four hours anyway.” 

“Well, you’re wrong,” Kihyun says. “Even if I am blushing, I could never look that bad.” 

“You need a mirror,” Hyungwon sniffs, but he takes the rest of the meringues to put them in the display, Kihyun following with the cream filled pastries. 

“I’m just happy you’re happy,” Hyungwon mutters. Kihyun pretends not to hear him, for his sake. 

 

#

 

Kihyun makes the mistake of giving Hoseok a key to the bakery, because Hoseok knocks on his bedroom door at two in the morning. 

“What are you doing here?” Kihyun asks, opening the door and rubbing his eyes. “And how did you know how to get upstairs?”

“Sorry I woke you up,” Hoseok says. He’s breathless, there’s rain in his hair and and dripping down his face, but this is the happiest Kihyun has ever seen him. “I just have amazing news. And also you told me where the staircase is and also that you live above the shop.” 

“Okay,” Kihyun says, leading Hoseok down the hall and stopping by the bathroom to grab Hoseok a towel. “What’s your news?” 

“Starship is producing a survival show for a new group,” Hoseok says, as Kihyun pats him dry. “And they took me and two other people aside and told us that we’re confirmed members.” 

“Oh my god,” Kihyun says, trying not to yell too loudly because it’s two fucking a.m, but he still hugs Hoseok and buries his face in his shoulder. “Oh my _god_.” 

“They’re not revealing any confirmed members, though,” Hoseok says, as Kihyun pulls away from him. “So for the entire show I’m going to be acting all sad and stuff. Don’t cry when you watch.” 

“I never cry,” Kihyun says, as he’s wiping away a stray tear. “There’s just a TV show in my eye right now.” 

“I know,” Hoseok says, and Kihyun pushes him down on a chair and straddles him, kissing him like he doesn’t have to be up in less than five hours to start baking for the day. 

Later, Hoseok fucks him bent over the couch, Kihyun’s arms straining to hold himself up. After they come, Kihyun climbs into Hoseok’s lap and they make out for what seems like hours. Kihyun can hear his alarm going off in the next room, but he ignores it for as long as he can. 

“Aren’t they going to think you’ve gone missing?” Kihyun asks, after they’ve gotten dressed. Hoseok’s mouth is somewhere on his neck. Kihyun doesn’t have the heart to tell him to stop. 

“Mmh,” Hoseok says against Kihyun’s skin. When he pulls away, there’s red blooming all over Kihyun’s neck and collarbones, visible even though Kihyun’s shirt isn’t low cut. Hoseok looks pleased. 

“You do know I have to go to work,” Kihyun tells him, to which Hoseok just tilts his head and smiles, leaning against the bathroom door as Kihyun brushes his teeth. 

“You look good,” Hoseok says, as Kihyun’s rinsing his mouth. 

Kihyun laughs, drying his hands. “I didn’t know you were into toothpaste.” 

“No,” Hoseok says, and Kihyun tries not to melt so much when Hoseok’s arms are around him. He presses his lips into Kihyun’s forehead for a second. “I always think you look good.” 

 

#

 

“I heard your boyfriend is going to be on TV,” Hyungwon says, as he’s wiping down the last of the tables. He’s reeling in more photoshoots than ever, but he refuses to leave his job. Kihyun thinks it’s because he secretly pockets his favorite pastries at the end of the day. 

“Yeah,” Kihyun says. “Are you going to watch with me?” 

“Ugh,” Hyungwon says, but he joins Kihyun every Wednesday at 11 p.m, a sugar free snack in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. 

 

#

 

“There are cameras _everywhere_ ,” Hoseok hisses. Kihyun can hear the connection crackling. Hoseok must be in a basement or something. “I can’t even sneak out anymore to come see you.” 

“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Kihyun says, balancing the phone between his ear and his shoulder while cracking eggs to mix into the dough. “You snuck out an awful lot.” 

“I miss you,” Hoseok says, almost wistfully. Kihyun looks down at the flour dusting his hands and tries not to be too sad. 

“I know,” Kihyun says. “I miss you too.” 

“I don’t want to be too busy to see you.” 

“You know our deal,” Kihyun says, just thankful that Hoseok can’t see his face right now. “No more free food until you’re famous. Then you can post on your social media about my bakery and I’ll become rich.” 

“I _knew_ you seduced me for a reason!” 

“Me? Seduce _you_?” 

Hoseok laughs. The raincloud hanging over Kihyun clears up a little. “Okay, okay. You’re right.” 

Kihyun hums, checking the cream cheese to see if it’s softened enough. “I saw your solo stage when it aired last night,” he says. “I thought you were talented?” 

“Stop,” Hoseok groans. “That was so embarrassing.” 

It’s Kihyun’s turn to laugh. “I know.” 

“What are you doing right now?” Hoseok asks. “Are you making my protein cookies?” 

“No one else bought those,” Kihyun says. “So I had to stop making them. I’m just making cupcakes.” 

“I want one.” 

Kihyun smiles against the phone. “I wish you were here.” He can picture Hoseok, crammed in a little closet somewhere in the building so he wouldn’t get caught talking on the phone to his secret boyfriend. 

“Me too,” Hoseok says. “And I also have news.” 

“Good or bad?” 

Hoseok audibly pauses. “They’re taking away all of our phones tonight as part of a ‘staying focused’ task. I won’t have a phone for a really long time.” 

“They’ll give them back when you debut, right?” Kihyun doesn’t even try to keep the tremor out of his voice. 

“No,” Hoseok says, and he sounds so sad that Kihyun wants to run the three blocks to the Starship building and break through security and get arrested just so he can give Hoseok a hug. “I love you.” 

Kihyun’s breath catches in his throat. 

“I wish I could have seen your face,” Hoseok says. 

“It’s not pretty,” Kihyun says, trying not to cry into the cupcake batter. 

“That’s okay,” Hoseok says. There’s a rustle and a bump. “Oh, shit. I have to go.” 

“Okay,” Kihyun says. “I love you.” 

“I know,” Hoseok says, and then he’s gone. It’s the last time Kihyun hears from him for months. 

 

#

 

Kihyun gets used to hearing Hoseok’s stage name from groups of girls planning to wait by the Starship building who’ve stopping for pastries. He saves all the selfies Hoseok has ever sent him and all the ones Hoseok posts online to his phone, and gets used to looking at Hoseok through pictures, weighing down his pocket and his heart. He watches music shows for the first time in his life just to catch glimpses of Hoseok on stage, looking happier than he’s ever looked. He gets the last picture he took of Hoseok printed, and frames it to keep on the table next to his bed. He doesn’t cry. His life is not some kind of drama series or romantic movie, and he is not so young that he can get away with puffy eyes day after day. Kihyun is 22 going on 23 and old enough to know that he can’t everything he wants, and that everything he wants isn’t easy to have. 

 

#

 

“I thought you’d mope more,” Hyungwon says. He’d just signed a contract with BSX, and he’s treating Kihyun to drinks. “And your baking would go downhill.” 

“I appreciate your faith in me,” Kihyun says dryly, downing another shot. “It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.” 

“No, that’s the alcohol,” Hyungwon says, taking a sip of beer and plainly trying not to make a face. 

“Nah,” Kihyun says, but he definitely feels his cheeks getting pinker the more he drinks. 

“Tell me when you’re drunk,” Hyungwon slurs. “Because I have something to tell you.” 

“Hyungwon, I’ve _been_ drunk,” Kihyun says, setting down his empty shot glass. 

“I got another shoot with Innisfree for their men’s products,” Hyungwon says. 

“Okay,” Kihyun says. “Congrats?” 

“It’s with one of Hoseok’s group members.” 

Kihyun almost bangs his knee on the table from sitting up too fast. “Which one?” 

“Minhyuk,” Hyungwon says, plainly trying not to laugh. “But still. If you kiss me and I kiss Minhyuk and then Minhyuk goes home and kisses Hoseok that’s only two degrees of separation.” 

“I’m not drunk enough for _that_ ,” Kihyun says, but laughs anyway. 

(A week or so later, Hyungwon gives Kihyun a white envelope before putting on his apron. 

“From Hoseok,” he says, before Kihyun can ask. Later, when he opens it, a polaroid falls out. It’s of Hoseok with a picture of a cupcake in his mouth. The caption reads, _I’m not supposed to eat sweets but when I miss you I look at pictures of them._ The writing is squished and half of it’s on the back, but Kihyun is so in love that it physically hurts.)

 

#

 

Kihyun finally stops chickening out and starts writing what he _really_ thinks about the restaurants he’s critiquing. This results in an angry restaurant manager storming into Retro Oven a little after closing time, as Hyungwon is bringing back groceries that Kihyun sent him to get. They really need to start being stricter about locking the door.

“Take your review back,” the manager fumes, throwing the newspaper down on the counter, narrowly missing Kihyun’s face. 

Kihyun blinks. “Who are you?” 

“The manager of Tavolo 24,” he seethes. “My chef’s white tuna is not _ironic_ because it makes you want to _black out_!”

Kihyun stifles a laugh. “Oh yes. Manager Park. I remember you.” 

“You need to come up with better trash talk,” Hyungwon mutters as he chews on a protein bar. 

“Also, you said that we have free WiFi, which we don’t,” Mr. Park says. 

“Fine, I’ll retract the free WiFi statement, but I stand by everything else,” Kihyun says, picking up the bag of groceries. “If you’ll excuse me, we’re closed, and I’m going to go make dinner.” 

“Well, you’ll probably choke on your tomato sauce, seeing that my chef’s perfectly good tomato sauce is too watery for you.” 

“The trash talk sucks on both sides,” Hyungwon muses. They ignore him. 

“Okay,” Kihyun says. “Okay, fine. If you come with me to my kitchen, I’ll show you how tomato sauce is supposed to be made.” 

The manager ends up offering him the job of head chef, but Kihyun initially declines, because there’s no one to take care of the bakery. Eventually, though, the manager convinces him to take the position of dinner chef. 

“Wow, Mr. Big Shot,” Hyungwon says, twirling the last of the spaghetti with his fork. Kihyun makes a face at him. The manager had just left, slamming the door behind him only a little. 

“We’re going to have to change our hours to noon to five thirty,” Kihyun says, filling up the sink with water to let the dirty dishes soak. 

“That’s only a thirty minute difference,” Hyungwon says. “Not really a big deal. Or, you know, you could sell the place and make more money as the head chef.” 

“Yeah, but then I’d have to find a new place to live,” Kihyun says. 

“Oh, right,” Hyungwon says, completely ignoring his last statement. “I forgot you have like zero contact with your boyfriend and if you sell this place then he might never be able to find you again. Is this why you refuse to get a new phone?” 

“I hope you choke on the spaghetti,” Kihyun says, and Hyungwon raises his water cup to him like a toast. 

 

#

 

Kihyun loves working at Tavolo 24. He knew he would, but knowing something is different from experiencing it. The restaurant-goers frequently ask to see the chef to compliment him, and he even gets the chance to turn down dates. Most days, he goes hours without thinking about Hoseok, and once, he gets through an entire day. It gets easier. Kihyun moves all of his Hoseok pictures to his laptop and deletes them all from his phone so he won’t be tempted to look at them throughout the day. 

 

#

 

“Do you think I should start getting over Hoseok?” Kihyun asks. Hyungwon’s sitting at one of the tables at Tavolo, waiting for Kihyun to gather his stuff. The end-of-night clean up is done, with Kwangji hanging up his apron and leaving, but Kihyun thinks he’s forgetting something. Maybe it’s his keys. 

“What do you mean, get over him?” Hyungwon asks, eating leftover fries and sucking his fingers clean. Kihyun has no idea how he maintains his figure. “Also tell your sous chef thank you for the leftovers.”

“It’s been months,” Kihyun says. “Should I just, you know, move on? And you know how much Kwangji loves feeding you.” 

“Is this about those pictures of him from a long time ago and he’s smoking and drinking and stuff?” 

Kihyun blinks. “I’ve never even heard that before.” 

“Oh,” Hyungwon says. “Well, it’s not that big of a deal anyway.” 

“Okay, I can’t remember what I forgot so it must not be that important,” Kihyun says. His keys are in his pocket. “Let’s go, and don’t forget your leftovers.” 

“ _Free_ leftovers,” Hyungwon says. 

“Oh, come on,” Kihyun says, shooing him out the front door so he can lock up. “The subway station’s this way.” 

They’re almost at Hyungwon’s stop when he says, “No.” 

Kihyun doesn’t look up from his phone. His mom sent him pictures of what they did to his old room, and it’s not pretty. “What?” 

“I don’t think you should get over him,” Hyungwon says. 

At that, Kihyun does look up. “Why not?” 

“I mean, I see him every once in awhile,” Hyungwon says. “We go to the same hair salon.” 

Kihyun narrows his eyes. “And you never told me this?” 

Hyungwon waves it away. “We all pretend like we don’t know each other from before, but he always asks about you whenever his manager’s not looking.” 

Kihyun fidgets with his phone. “What do you tell him?” 

“I told him about your new restaurant and stuff,” Hyungwon says. “He says he’ll try to go there soon.” 

“Yeah, well,” Kihyun says. “It’s my job to feed the hungry.” 

“Your poached salmon is like four times the minimum wage,” Hyungwon points out. 

Kihyun hesitates, then asks, “How does he look?” 

“Sad, mostly, when he’s asking about you,” Hyungwon says, as the subway slows to a stop. “It’s like one of those love tragedies where you guys can’t have each other even though you’re in love.” 

“It’s not one of those love tragedies,” Kihyun protests, but Hyungwon just waves before getting off the subway. Something inside him aches, like he never knew it could.

 

#

 

Business at the bakery gets better. Kihyun hires another person because Hyungwon can’t keep up by himself, and there are always tables to clean. Yoonho is a bright kid studying something about biology at one of the nearby universities, and he’s better at following directions than Hyungwon ever was. It’s almost comical watching Hyungwon teaching Yoonho the ins and outs of the bakery. 

That same month, Hoseok and his group win their first award and a real awards show. Kihyun watches it live after closing up downstairs, and orders food for himself, Hyungwon and Yoonho. Yoonho is dozing off, a grain of rice on the corner of his lip. Hyungwon snaps a picture before nudging him awake, and Kihyun ruffles both of their hair before curling up on his side of the couch with his takeout container. 

When Hoseok gets up at the microphone, he thanks everyone like he’s supposed to: his family, his members, everyone at the company, his seniors, the fans. At the end, though, he thanks ‘the most important person in my life, the guy who runs the best bakery ever’, and only cries a little bit. Kihyun cries too, but that’s only because Hoseok looks so ugly when he cries. 

It’s been almost a year since they’ve talked, but Kihyun doesn’t feel any different. If anything, he’s gotten used to winning small victories every time he hears Hoseok’s voice playing over the speakers whenever he goes shopping, every time he sees his albums on display. He’s gotten used to walking around in public with Hyungwon, who pulls his hat low over his face so no one will recognize him. Every once in awhile, though, someone recognizes him, and they have to run away before Hyungwon’s swallowed by the crowd. Life goes on. Kihyun just goes with it. 

 

#

 

It’s on a particularly busy night that Kwangji brings him marinara sauce from the fridge and tells him, “There’s a group of people outside who want to give their compliments to the chef.” 

“Well, they’re just going to have to wait,” Kihyun says, tossing two lobster into the pot of boiling water. “I still have to finish the sundubu.” 

“Oh, just let me,” Kwangji says, and Kihyun hesitates for a fraction of a second before handing over the big spoon and adjusting his chef hat. “They’re at table five.” Kihyun peels his gloves off before heading out. 

Table five is completely full, with ten people. Kihyun almost just walks right up to them before he realizes that Hoseok is there. 

“Oh my god,” Kihyun says, and he pulls the nearest waiter to him, Minkyun, and uses him as a shield so he won’t be seen on the way back to the kitchen. 

“Um,” Minkyun says. “Are you… okay? I kinda need to take these desserts to table five.” He’s holding a whole cheesecake in one hand and a molten brownie in the other. 

“Okay,” Kihyun says. “Okay, that’s great. When you get there, let them know that the chef would _love_ to hear their compliments, but he’s very busy at the moment.” 

“But you’re right here.” 

Kihyun huffs. “Minkyun, will you just work with me?” 

“Is this because they didn’t order any of the specials?” Minkyun asks. 

“No,” Kihyun says. “I can’t remember what our specials are right now.” 

“You said that they were the stir fried—”

Kihyun pushes Minkyun towards the door. “Just _go_.” 

But three seconds later, he changes his mind. He straightens his apron and takes his chef hat off and tucks it under his arm. 

“—flourless brownie cake,” Minkyun is saying, as another waiter, Yoosu, is going around setting new plates down in front of everyone. “The chef is—”

“Right here,” Kihyun says, cutting Minkyun off. Minkyun gives him a long look before leaving. “I was told you wanted to see the chef?” Hyungwon is so going to be proud of him later when Kihyun tells him about this. 

“ _You’re_ the chef?” someone asks, after a second. “But you’re like, twenty.” 

Kihyun wills himself not to flush. “I’m almost twenty four.” 

“He’s younger than Hyunwoo,” Minhyuk stage whispers, giving Kihyun a wink. 

“The lobster was great,” Jooheon says loudly, to drown out Minhyuk. “If I’d known how good this place was I’d have come here sooner.” 

“Well, I’m very glad you enjoyed it,” Kihyun says. He’s totally got the professional thing down. 

“I’m sad that I didn’t get to try all the specials,” Hoseok says, and Kihyun tries really hard not to start crying. “I’ll keep coming back until I get to try all of them.” 

“I’ll remember that,” Kihyun says, and it hurts a hell of a lot more than it should, even after all this time. 

 

#

 

“So,” Hyungwon says. “I heard you’re going to be guesting on a cooking show.” 

Kihyun closes eyes as the makeup artist dusts powder on his face. He tries not to open his mouth too much to keep stuff out of his mouth. 

“I’m getting my makeup done for it right now,” Kihyun says, out of the corner of his mouth. The makeup artist looks at him disapprovingly before redoing something around his nose area. 

“Well, I’m one of the celebrities on set,” Hyungwon says brightly. Kihyun almost falls out of his chair. 

“You’re _what_?” Kihyun yells, as the makeup artist forces him back into his chair and starts straightening his hair. His hair isn’t even that long. 

Hyungwon opens his dressing room door. “Hi!” 

“I literally hate you so much,” Kihyun groans, ending the call on his phone. “What are you even doing here?” 

“Well, when they asked you to come on the show, they had to get a shot of the shop,” Hyungwon says. “It was after you left to go to your prestigious night job, so it was just me and Yoonho there, and they showed us their ID’s and stuff, so we let them in and Yoonho gave them cupcakes. And then they recognized me.” 

“So?” 

“So they asked me to come on the show. Yoonho’s here too.” 

Yoonho pokes his head in the room. “Hi Kihyun.” 

“Why didn’t you just tell me? We could have split a cab,” Kihyun says. 

“But this is so much more fun,” Hyungwon says. 

“Mr. Yoo, you’re on in fifteen,” a staff member says. “Could you go backstage so we can put a mic on you?” 

“Yes,” Kihyun says. “I’ll be right there.” 

“See you onstage,” Yoonho says cheerfully. “Good luck!” 

“Don’t be nice to him, he’s going to be all superior about his cooking and it’s going to be _insufferable_ ,” Hyungwon says, but Kihyun knows he’s smiling. 

Kihyun shows the audience how he makes lobster ravioli, and boils the pre-made ones that he’d brought to save time. When he’s done, the MC of the show makes a big deal of how young and successful he is, to which Kihyun only preens a little bit, because he deserves it. They pause recording to adjust the cameras again and a couple more celebrities take their place onstage. Kihyun looks over to see where Hyungwon and Yoonho are, but instead, he sees that Hoseok and Minhyuk are walking onstage, adjusting their mics. Minhyuk waves, and Hoseok hits him on the arm, but he’s smiling so hard Kihyun’s own cheeks hurt. 

When they resume filming, the MC asks, “And you also own a bakery?” 

“Yes,” Kihyun says. Before he can say anything else, Hyungwon starts talking. 

“That’s how Kihyun and I know each other,” Hyungwon says. “A couple years ago, when I needed a part time job, he was nice enough to hire me at Retro Oven.” 

“Does he give you lots of free food?” the MC asks, and the audience laughs. 

“Kind of,” Hyungwon says, smiling his camera smile. “Yoonho and I always ask him for tarts when he’s in a good mood.” 

“We actually brought some today,” Yoonho says. Kihyun gives him a look of utter betrayal, but when they come to stand next to him, Yoonho whispers in his ear, “Don’t worry, they paid for all the ingredients, we just didn’t tell you.” 

There’s almost three dozen pastries and cupcakes and those lemon tarts Kihyun’s just added to the menu. All of the guests make a big show of arguing about who gets to try one first, but the MC asks Kihyun if there’s someone he wants to be first. 

“Actually, Minhyuk and Wonho came to my restaurant once with their group members,” Kihyun says, almost forgetting to use Hoseok’s stage name. “And they gave their compliments to the chef.” 

“ _This_ is networking,” Minhyuk announces, drawing a laugh out of the audience. 

“I’ve actually been to Kihyun’s bakery before,” Hoseok says, as Minhyuk demonstrates to the camera how he can fit an entire cupcake in his mouth. “It’s just a couple blocks away from the Starship building. When we were trainees we used to go sometimes to treat ourselves. But Kihyun was always in the kitchen so he didn’t see us.” 

Kihyun thinks about all the times Hoseok pushed the front door open, ordering those stupid protein discs that he calls cookies, how Hyungwon would just mysteriously disappear for five minutes so Kihyun could work the register. Their hands touching briefly when Hoseok paid. It feels like so long ago, but looking at Hoseok now, it’s like no time has passed. 

“I don’t remember the lemon tarts from the menu though,” Hoseok is saying. 

“They’re new,” Kihyun says, trying to get it together. “I just added them.” 

The MC starts talking then, and more guests come up to try the treats, praising Kihyun. Kihyun smiles and lets them get their time on camera. 

“I guess it’s been a while, huh?” Hoseok says, quietly enough so the mic doesn’t pick it up. Kihyun doesn’t look at him. “I wish I could have dropped by more.” 

It’s not until he’s said goodbye and taken his mic off backstage that he allows himself to think, _me too_.

 

#

 

Hoseok gets a new phone a couple weeks after they last see each other, and the first couple times he calls, Kihyun doesn’t answer, because it’s an unknown number. The sixth time, Kihyun finally answers the call, prepared to start yelling, but Hoseok just says, “Kihyun?” and Kihyun falls in love all over again. 

“I didn’t know this was your number,” Kihyun says, apologetically. 

“It’s okay,” Hoseok says. “Payback for being the worst boyfriend in the world.” 

“Well, all of your fans stop by to pick up cookies and stuff on the way to camping outside your building, so business has actually gotten pretty great,” Kihyun says. “I had to hire someone new.” 

“I wish I could come see you,” Hoseok says. “We’re literally on house arrest. I’m just glad they don’t monitor our calls.” 

Kihyun is smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. His chest aches. “I miss you so much.” 

“I know,” Hoseok says. “I know.” 

Kihyun convinces Hoseok to download Skype onto his phone, and every once in awhile, when Hoseok doesn’t get back too late, they skype, Kihyun lying flat on his back on his bed, Hoseok doing the same on his. 

“This is a bad angle for you,” Kihyun says, as Hoseok’s face fills up the entire screen. 

“No such thing as a bad angle for me,” Hoseok says, but he lowers the camera and tilts it up so it looks like he has a double chin. Kihyun laughs, and the band-aid he taped over his heart starts to fall off, little by little. 

“What did you do today?” Hoseok asks, pulling his covers up to his chin. 

“I stayed in bed until noon because the bakery’s closed today,” Kihyun says. “And then I got up and cleaned my apartment. Then I went to work.” 

“You forgot the part where you thought about me all day,” Hoseok says. 

“No I didn’t,” Kihyun says, and Hoseok sticks his tongue out at him. “How was your day?” 

“I started writing a new song,” Hoseok says. There are noticeable shadows under his eyes. “Minhyuk’s trying to convince me to let him write the lyrics.” 

“Are you going to let him?” 

“I’m thinking about it,” Hoseok says. He’s smiling. “But I was also thinking this could be my own song. You know, like I produce it and write the lyrics and everything.” 

“Already thinking about going solo, are you?” Kihyun says, but he’s only teasing. 

“Maybe you could listen to it when I’m done,” Hoseok says. 

“Yeah,” Kihyun says. “Don’t keep me waiting too long, though. I’m flighty.” 

“Of course you are,” Hoseok says, and Kihyun wishes he could just keep Hoseok’s smile locked away in his memory so it wouldn’t hurt so damn much all the time. 

They talk at least every other day, but it’s still not to fill up the hole in Kihyun’s heart that he didn’t even know he had. 

 

#

 

Kihyun is taking a cake out of the oven when he hears the tinkle of the door. He frowns. He was so sure that it had been locked. 

“I’m sorry, we’re not open yet today,” Kihyun calls from the kitchen, taking his oven mitts off and going out to see who it is. 

“Hi,” Hoseok says. “I missed you.” He makes Kihyun’s heart speed up and falter at the same time, and whenever he swallows he feels like his organs are in the wrong order. It’s the best thing in the world. Kihyun is 24 going on 25 and he knows what being in love feels like.

It feels like this. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i watch a lot of friends (tv), all restaurants mentioned are real but not all of them serve the same stuff as they do in the fic. also if you couldn’t tell i know absolutely nothing about culinary arts... lol


End file.
